Sooner or later, we all quote our mothers.
- Bern Williams

Well, we won’t be quoting our mothers here today but we are sharing with you some quotes by other people that resonated with us recently.

Barb’s Quotes

At any given moment, you have the power to say, “This is not how the story is going to end.”
- Christine Mason Miller

For the past six-months, more than any other time in my pro-active unemployment, I’ve felt strangely empowered by my actions and decisions. I say “strangely” not because it’s something new to me—this making decisions and taking action—but because when I do it, there’s a feeling of boldness and certainty behind these movements that I’ve never felt before…at least not on such a consistent basis. And while I can’t say every decision and action I’ve made and taken has been the “right” one or that I haven’t made mistakes, I have had a feeling of confidence in knowing that I have the strength and experience behind me to keep me heading in the direction I need to be going, even if that means scaling road blocks, taking detours, or backtracking.

So when I first saw this quote in Christine Mason Miller’s new book, Ordinary Sparkling Moments, it immediately spoke to me and made me shout, “Oh, yes! That’s exactly it!” And then I knew I had to have the original collage. So I contacted Christine and asked her if it was available. Much to my surprise, it was…and affordably so. So I bought it as a birthday gift—to me, with love, from me!

Writing has often been accompanied by terror, silences, and then wild bursts of private laughter
that suddenly make all the dread seem worthwhile.
- Erica Jong

As I was working on the final touches of a grant application last week, this quote was emailed to me by the foundation providing the grant and I just loved it. It seem to capture my experience with writing lately.

The difference between great people and everyone else is that great people create their lives actively, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next. The difference between the two is the difference between living fully and just existing.
- Michael Gerber

This quote came via Paul & The Ripples Project. I have no idea who this Michael Gerber dude is but I love what he says here. As I said earlier, I’ve been feeling that my life is exactly what I’ve created…and I love that feeling. All the choices I’ve made, all the dreams and goals I’ve set for myself and worked toward, all the hopes and demands I’ve had for myself have shaped who I am right now and where I’m going tomorrow. I feel like I know what I want and I know how to get there. And I feel like if I don’t like where I am right now or where I’m going tomorrow, I can change that. There’s a wonderful sense of beauty and peace in that.

You were once wild here. Don’t let them tame you.
- Isadora Duncan

This is a quote on one of Lori’s cards and it makes me want to cheer, “Oh hells YEAH!” every time I see it. I had breakfast this morning with my friend, Nicole, and we talked about how we’re taught to follow the herd, to do the practical thing, to get a regular job and not make waves with crazy ideas or wild dreams. Somewhere along the line, early in our lives, we’re forced to step into a box. The idea of breaking out of that box is scary as hell, but the reality is, it’s easier than you’d expect because you end up where you are naturally meant to be.

Barack Obama is the President-elect of the United State and will be the 44th President.
- Charlie Gibson

Yes we can.
- Barack Obama

‘Nuff said.

Lori’s Quotes

The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.
- Thales, Greek philosopher

I have this quote taped to my computer monitor at work.  It reminds me to look within, rather than outward, in an attempt to understand myself more each day.  So often people spend their time looking to others for guidance or approval, or analyzing why someone else should act differently, when if they turned that around to take a look at themselves, we’d all be better off.  It is very simple, but not easy, and every day it is a reminder for me to try to get to know myself better. 

Always remember, only dead fish go with the flow.
- Unknown 

I’m always looking for quotes to make a card out of, and this one I love.  It’s hard (for me anyway) to not get dragged down by the day to day repetition of life, especially now that I have a little one that requires my attention and effort every day.  This quote helps me to remember that I’m not dead yet, and I must never, ever give up.

All that I am or hope to be I owe to my mother
- Abraham Lincoln

Of course I have to include a quote about being a mother or having a mother, since this theme is now up front and center in my life.  I often say to people, when they ask about motherhood, that I can only hope that I am half as good as my own mother was.  Seriously.

Barb: difficult to navigate. But I’m finding it’s not the navigation that is the hard part.
Lori: dynamic.  Now that I’ve completed thirty five years, it seems to be more routine than anything.

I thought life would be less…

Barb: obvious. But it really is so clear to me.
Lori: stressful.

I thought the world would be more…

Barb: tolerant by now. After all we’ve been through…
Lori: peaceful.  After world wars and atomic bombs, you’d think human beings would learn something.

I thought the world would be less…

Barb: angry. It always surprises me how mad many governments, religions, cultures, and individuals are and how often they take it out on everyone that is not them (and sometimes even those that are them).
Lori: fake.  It’s amazing to me how many people try to be something they’re not, and I can’t relate to why.  The plastic surgery, the reality TV, it’s all dumbfounding to me.

I thought I would be more…

Barb: concerned about my career in Corporate America. Ha!

Lori: carefree.  My responsibility level has increased so much lately, that I can’t imagine more!

I thought I would be less…

Barb: happy with my body as I got older. But I like where I am right now, wrinkles, flab, and all.

Lori: habitual.  I have established habits (both good and bad) based on monkey see, monkey do, that I thought I would overcome.

I thought we (Lori and Barb) would be more…

Barb: hit-the-road travel buddies. But I’ve discovered that Lori isn’t into travel as much as I am or the way that I am.
Lori: like happy hour friends, and we’ve grown closer over the years.  Since she started as a friend-of-a-friend, I thought it would stay that way.

I thought we (Lori and Barb) would be less…

Barb: involved with each other since Matteo came along. But our MM give us the opportunity to keep connected on many different levels.
Lori: alike.  Even though our choices and lifestyles are very different from one another, we have quite a bit in common, especially the energy we get from each other when brainstorming, creating, talking, etc.  Thanks, Barb!

I thought there would be more…

Barb: free time in my life since I quit my job. But there’s even less.
Lori: money in my life.  I was raised in the upper middle class category and it’s been a struggle to maintain that in adulthood.  Maybe Obama can help…but I doubt it.

I thought there would be less…

Barb: sadness over the death of my two cats. But I seem to miss them more and more every day.
Lori: conflict, in my own life and in the world around me.

I thought being childfree would be more…

Barb: fun. And it is.
Lori: lonely.

I thought being childfree would be less…

Barb: work. And it is.

Lori: work.  And it is (or at least that’s what Barb says).

I thought motherhood would be more…

Barb: incentive to procreate incessantly for Lori. After having the first baby, I was sure she’d want to have 10 more right away.
Lori: of a reason to stop using so much profanity, and although I’m much better than I used to be, I still could win awards in trucker and sailor competitions.

I thought motherhood would be less…

Barb: revelatory for Lori. Yet it seems to have unearthed issues and awakened more emotions in her.
Lori: work.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew it would be work, but I had no idea how much.  It’s the consistency part that’s been the most challenging for me.

I thought having a FWK would be more…

Barb: noisy. Matteo isn’t that noisy (yet). Lori’s husband, on the other hand…
Lori: fun.  I never had any Friends With Kids until I had one, and so far they’re kind of boring…but that’s probably because they’re as exhausted as I am.

I thought having a FWK would be less…

Barb: compelling. I still think it is with the exception of Lori.
Lori: competitive.  As I’ve mentioned before, these women keep getting their measuring cups out.  I guess they don’t realize (yet) that their children could never compete with my little Matteo!

I thought having a CFF would be more…

Barb: competitive. Turns out that I see more competition between my FWKs than I do between my CFFs.
Lori: high maintenance.  Since CFF in general live for themselves, sometimes it can be more challenging to make sure you accommodate their “special needs”.

I thought having a CFF would be less…

Barb: work emotionally. But having a friend requires a lot of emotional energy, regardless of their procreation status.

Lori: abundant.  I figured that once I entered “mommyland” that my CFFs would disappear.  Turns out that friends are friends, and the good ones stick around no matter what (at least so far).

Barb’s Favorites

Lori’s Favorites

Site: www.me.com
What it is: My personal email account.
How often I check it out: Daily.  I logon in the morning and check it periodically throughout the day.
What I like about it: I used to use my work email as my “everything” email address, and although I don’t like having to check in two places, having a separate “identity” from my work is refreshing.  I made the conversion during my maternity leave (mostly because I wasn’t sure if I was going back or not) and am glad I did.

Site: www.fidelity.com
What it is: My 401k account.
How often I check it out: Never until the past month.  Now I check once a week.  My 401k has dropped, which is not a big shocker, but by HOW MUCH was disgusting.  Knowing what this account has in it keeps me honest about spending money.
What I like about it: Nothing, unless a reality check is something I like, which it isn’t.  So yeah, nothing.

Site: www.blogher.com
What it is: A blog by women for women.
How often I check it out: Once a month.
What I like about it: It has some good content, although mostly I just skim it.  I like the mommy section just to see what “my people” like to talk about in their spare time.  For me, in my spare time the furthest thing from my mind is being on the computer, let along someone’s blog.

Site: www.thecoolhunter.net
What it is: A super cool site that has the coolest stuff.  Homes, clothes, music, gadgets, etc.
How often I check it out: Once a week when they send me their newsletter.
What I like about it: It totally quenches my artistic thirst.  I see great colors and design, and it’s totally inspiring.

Site: www.dailycandy.com
What it is: A fun little site with good deals and hot spots around whatever city you live in.
How often I check it out: Daily (like the name).
What I like about it: It’s fun bubble gum for the brain.

Month-to-month

• Barb - Ongoing responsibility (Side note: at first I read this as “mouth-to-mouth.” Ha!)
  
• Lori - budget, money, my period.
  

• Barb - Guy fixing his package
  
• Lori - position in my chair, business plan, underwear.

• Barb - Childish
  
• Lori - funny, obnoxious, childish.

• Barb - work, work, work
  
• Lori - clean, tedious

• Barb - bright, yellow light
  
• Lori - desirable, enviable, attainable.

• Barb - night time, club scene
  
• Lori - convenient, expensive, unnecessary (except at sporting events).

• Barb - Minnesota
  
• Lori - torture, oppression.

• Barb - unique, cool designs, weird sensation (when you lightly rub your fingertips together)
  
• Lori - identity, big brother.

• Barb - delicious, juicy, sweet
  
• Lori - sweet, hawaii.

• Barb - Tom Sharpe (the author)
  
• Lori - knife, witty, smart.

Barb’s Questions to Lori

Barb: You’ve mentioned before that having kids gives you a sense of purpose in your life. If you didn’t have kids, what do you think your purpose in life would be and how would you go about fulfilling it?

Lori: I’m not really sure, honestly.  I’ve been looking for a purpose for 35 years, and have never quite found it.  If I didn’t have kids, I’d spend more time creatively, growing my card business and exploring other forms of artistic expression (painting, writing, music, etc.), but I don’t know that I would think of that as purpose. 

Barb: Name at least three ways your friendships have changed since having a baby.

Barb: What has been the most surprising (pleasant or otherwise) thing about motherhood?

Barb: Your friend Barb is totally cool and the picture of perfection. But if she weren’t, how could she be a better friend to you now that you’re a FWK?

Lori: What an awesome question!  Yes, Barb is “totally cool” (whatever Valley Girl), and is a fantastic friend.  The one thing that could improve in my opinion is if she would trust that our friendship can last - no matter what the circumstances - and stop waiting for our friendship to end b/c of our different choices in the kid department.  I truly don’t think it matters, and although it’s harder to find and make time because there’s another person in the mix, I think she would enjoy our friendship more if she wasn’t waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Oh yeah, and it’d be a lot cooler if she ate meat and didn’t have a goal to become vegan.

Barb: What aspects of a childfree lifestyle do you find hard to understand or accept…or that you don’t find appealing or attractive? In other words, what part(s) of being childfree makes you say, “No, I don’t want that”?

Lori: I guess the biggest drawback to not having children is that your world is defined by you your whole life, and having children makes you understand in a very real way that life is much larger than just your own needs and desires.  However, I only know this because I had a kid…if I never would have had them, I think I would miss most being old and in the home knowing that I didn’t leave anyone on earth to pick up where I leave off.

Barb: What is something you used to make fun of your mom about, but now that you’re a mom, you understand better why she did what she did?

Lori’s Questions to Barb

Lori: Do you ever imagine what your life would be like if you chose to have kids?  I know you’re happy with your decision, but do you think there is anything you’re missing from the experience of being a mother?

Barb: To answer the first part of the question: Nope, not at all. At least not in a “hummmm, I wonder if…” kind of way (but probably more as an “Eeew, ick! Could you image our life like that?” kind of way). I’m sure at one point in my life I thought about what a life with kids would be like—after all, I’ve rejected that idea so I must have thought about it at least once, right? But I don’t remember doing so. It’s just something I never saw myself doing. Sort of like being an accountant. It never occurred to me to be one because there was never anything appealing about it to me. And, at this stage in my life, being childfree is such a way of life for me, and I’m so extremely happy with my life, that there’s no reason to reflect on a different choice.

With regards to the second part of the question, YES! I know exactly what I’m missing from the experience of being a mother. And that’s that point.

Lori: Everyone’s life experience is different, based on the choices they make.  What do you think is different about the life of someone that chooses not to be a parent?  What is the same?

Lori: If Emmett were to die suddenly, what would you do?

Lori: What is the most important thing in life?

Lori: What is the least important thing in life?

What is your greatest fear?

Barb: Death by fire.

Lori: People won’t like me.

What is your current state of mind?

Barb: Ecstatic. I’ve had a really, really good day.

Lori: Happy, distracted and looking forward to Friday.

What is your favorite way of spending time?

Barb: Making food, hiking, writing, happy hour, anything with my hubby.

Lori: Creatively…writing, crafting, reading, singing, inquiring.

What historical figure do you identify with?

Barb: Margaret Sanger.

Lori: Eleanor Roosevelt.

Which living person do you most admire?

Barb: Jeffrey Eugenides.

Lori: Oprah.  A poor black girl from Mississippi creates an empire without exploiting the lowest common denominator (like others in her field).

Who is your favorite fictional hero?

Barb: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Lori: This is a tough one…I can’t even think of any. 

Who are your real-life heroes?

Barb: Animal rescuers, anyone who volunteers, Gandhi, people who are advocates on behalf of children and at-risk youth, the makers of Soy Dream Ice Cream.

Lori: Mahatma Ghandi.

What is your most treasured possession?

Barb: My passion for travel.

Lori: My computer.  It has all my pictures and writing in it, so if everything went up in flames, this single possession would retain at least the pictures from the past.

When and where are you happiest?

Barb: On or in the water.

Lori: Kicked back under the stars with a fire by my side.

What is your most obvious characteristic?

Barb: My presence.

Lori: My eyes.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Barb: Always assuming someone wants something from me.

Lori: My lack of self discipline.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Barb: Rudeness.

Lori: Arrogance.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Barb: Long, long, hot, hot showers.

Lori: Paying someone to clean my house.

What is your favorite journey?

Barb: My life.

Lori: Driving down to the ocean and on the PCH in the morning on a weekday.  It’s out of my way, a “waste of time and gas”, and I love every minute of it.  Windows down, radio loud, driving fast.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

Barb: Too many freckles on my face.

Lori: My fat gut.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Barb: Chastity.

Lori: Honesty.  Everyone says it’s the best policy, but no one follows it.  Plus, just because it’s true doesn’t mean people want to hear it.

On what occasion do you lie?

Barb: To avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

Lori: To avoid getting caught doing something “bad”.

Which words or phrases do you overuse the most?

Barb: “Dude,” “absolutely,” “GET OUT,” “that’s awesome,” “I hear ya cluckin’ big chicken,” and most recently, “real talking?”

Lori: Sweet!  Awesome.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

Barb: To sing amazingly. Or even slightly well.

Lori: My passive aggressiveness.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Barb: My life.

Lori: Owning two homes in Southern California.

Where would you like to live?

Barb: Sydney.

Lori: San Francisco.

What is the quality you most admire in a man?

Barb: Self-confidence.

Lori: Humility.

What is the quality you most admire in a woman?

Barb: Self-confidence.

Lori: Poise.

What is it you most dislike?

Barb: Mean people.

Lori: Attachment to things.

What is it you most value in friends?

Barb: Enthusiasm.

Lori: Positivity, thirst for new things

How would you like to die?

Barb: Quickly, with my mind still in tact, and when I’m much, much older!

Lori: Instantly.

If you could choose an object to come back as, what would you choose?

Barb: A piano.

Lori: A tree…a redwood tree.

What is your motto (words that you live by or mean a lot to you)?

Barb: You must be the change you wish to see in the world.

Lori: Laughter is the best medicine.

Who has been the greatest influence on you?

Barb: My hubby. Hands down.

Lori: My dad, in both good ways and bad, is the greatest influence on who I am today.

Barb’s Letter to Herself

Hello there, sexy me at 50! You’re looking great and it appears you’re really happy too. I’m writing to you at 37 (three months shy of your 38th birthday!), when you’re looking and feeling pretty much the same way. Seriously? Is it possible that you can keep this up—living your life in total and complete happiness—for the next dozen or so years? I think so. You’ve got momentum on your side. Plus, you’ve tasted what happens when you reach farther than you think you can possibly go, and now there’s no stopping you. I have a feeling you’re excited about being 50 (except for maybe those wrinkles that are starting to really show around the eyes) because you’ve checked off many things you want to do in your life…and you keep finding even more things you want to add to the list. Way to go, girl. (And let’s hope you’ve gotten that marbling class in!)

Here are a couple of things I hope you’ve accomplished so far. If not, well, get off your arse and get going because these were your priorities at 37:

• Travel to Australia a couple more times.
• Write a book (doesn’t matter if it gets published or not) and/or publish several essays.
• Guide Hope’s Flame to its maximum potential.
• Spend another month or two on a special volunteer project.
• Continue to have an amazing relationship with an amazing man (let’s hope it’s still Emmett ‘cause you’re really diggin’ him right now).
• Still be silly-in-love with Mira (even though she’ll be around 15 years old, I’m sure she’s still very entertaining).
• Hike and kayak whenever you can.
• Have a job that holds special meaning to you.

That’s not the whole list but those are the bigger picture ones. And I think they are totally doable by the time I’m 50 so I’d be really surprised if you’re still working to check them off today. But hey, sometimes we get sidetracked in our day-to-day life and end up not where we thought we would be. So keep focused on the main goal of keeping active with the things you love to do and you’ll be good to go. The only other thing I would add to that list above is to be the coolest Auntie to Madison and Brady, who will be 18 and almost 15 respectively. God, I can’t wait to see how they unfold. (And don’t forget the promise you made to yourself to take each one on a special trip out of the country when they turn 12!)

Let’s talk about friends, shall we? As the ol’ saying goes, friends come into one’s life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It’s a philosophy you’ve really embraced since moving to California and it’s made your relationships with friends so much better. You’re less judgmental, more open to making new friends, more understanding and patient, and more accepting. It’s a totally awesome feeling and it has given you a new level of confidence. Remember that at 50 because I think there will be a lot of transition in friendships over the next 12 years. Cherish and appreciate the time you have with the ones you consider “super special” and when it’s time to move on, allow them and yourself to do so with the grace and respect the friendship has earned and deserves.

I’m not sure what else about the past I can tell you that will improve your life now, at 50, and beyond. All I can say is that today you are happy because you not only know what you want from life, you go get it. You don’t make excuses, you don’t hold yourself back, you face your fears when you’re ready to and sincerely work on facing them when you’re not. You’re wonderful hubby, Emmett, has played a large role in all of this because of his unconditional support and his belief in you. Trust him now as you did then. Together, you make a powerhouse of a couple…and have built a powerhouse of a life together!

Wishing you the best (and least amount of wrinkles) at 50!

With love,
Barb

Lori’s Letter to Herself

Dear Future Self,

I hope this finds you happy and healthy and enjoying the fruits of your labor.  It hasn’t been an easy road, but it’s been an enjoyable journey, and although you’ve accomplished many amazing things by this time, never stop reaching for more.  Until your last breath, show up to participate in your life and never, never, never give up.

Your kids are amazing, and you’ve been a great example to them.  Not only as a parent, but as a guide to show them how to respect others (even when you don’t agree with them), to understand themselves enough to know when they’re being authentic and when they’re being ridiculous, and to leave the world a little better than it was when they got here.  And even though your mom and dad, your guides, aren’t around anymore to witness the day to day amazing job you’re doing, they are deeply proud of you.

Your husband continues to surprise you in ways you never imagined.  Is it possible that you’ve been married longer than you were single?  You never thought that would happen, and here you both are, still together, still arguing, still laughing your asses off, still making fun of bad drivers.  You’ve been together (on a part time basis), holding a residence in different towns, states and countries, and still have something to talk about.  Congratulations.

Your family has changed over the years, with old members leaving and new ones coming in.  One thing that hasn’t changed is your role in it.  You are the rock and the glue, and are the main vein that keeps everyone together.  Don’t lose track of yourself in the mix, and remember to nurture yourself.  As you know, in order to be your best self, taking care of #1 is not optional.  As everyone knows, if you aren’t happy, then nobody’s happy.

Keep on truckin’, keep on lovin’, and remember to practice forgiveness.  Many people know not what they do.

I love you.
Your Former Self

Check out what makes Barb and Lori interesting (or not) as they draw up a list of things they are oddly passionate about in today’s Whatever Wednesdays.

Twenty-six Things Barb is Oddly Passionate About
Never trust someone who doesn’t drink. Ever.

1. One should never trust someone who doesn’t drink. Ever.
2. Travel. To anywhere.
3. Hiking and kayaking as activities anyone can participate in. And should.
4. Hillary would have been an amazing President. The Democrats fucked up that one.
5. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Behave accordingly.
6. Humans are not worth saving. Donate to charities that support animals or the earth.
7. Never buy cheap gin. Under any circumstance.
8. Plasma screen TVs are overkill. And obnoxious.
9. Cats rule.
10. Barry Bonds should have an asterisk next to his name in the record books.
11. Discounting drinks by 50 cents between 4 p.m. and 5 p.m. does NOT constitute Happy Hour.
12. Having babies is a privilege, not a right. Behave accordingly.
13. Women are women’s worst enemies. This needs to change. Now.
14. There are some things worth paying for. Pre-shredded cheddar cheese is one of them.
15. The Chrysler Sebring and the BMW Z series are NOT cool convertibles.
16. Pop vs. soda.
17. Reality-based sex education vs. abstinence only.
18. Draft vs. bottle or can.
19. Anyone who harms a child or an animal should be shot. Immediately.
20. Same-sex marriage. Nothing is gained, metaphorically or literally, by exclusion.
21. Laughter.
22. Thunderstorms.
23. Oprah’s book club ruined the pleasure of reading for me.
24. Forty-eight hours at 45 degrees (on a sailboat) at least once in your life.
25. You must be the change you wish to see in the world. Behave accordingly.
26. Size does matter.

Twenty-two Things Lori is Oddly Passionate About

1. Nature over nurture - DNA rules.  Nature rules.
2. Listen to and trust your intuition.
3. Spend some time alone…and be ok with it.
4. The Birth Control Pill has had the greatest impact on women’s lives to date.
5. Smoking is better than drinking, any day of the week.
6. Never trust anyone who has never tried drugs.
7. Never trust anyone who is on prescription antidepressants.
8. Respecting people’s differences doesn’t mean you have to like them.
9. Vegetarian is one thing, vegan is ridiculous.
10. Laughter makes the world a better place.
11. Humans are one step ahead of chimps…an important step, but only one step.
12. Kindness rules.
13. I don’t care if Jerry Springer went to Harvard and is a godzillionaire.  He’s an idiot that capitalizes on the lowest common denominator.
14. Reality TV sucks and is a major contributor to the dumbing down of our nation.  Except Extreme Home Makeover and Project Runway, those rock.
15. Paris and Nicole and Britney aren’t pretty.
16. Catering to people’s weaknesses just makes them stronger.  Look at all the people with allergies to food, bugs, wind, etc.
17. Glasses and braces are signs of weak DNA (sorry Barb).
18. The military industrial empire called The United States of America is on its way down…and we haven’t reached the bottom.  Hold on for the ride and get ready for a big crash.  But know that a phoenix can only rise from the ash.
19. Oprah rocks and whether you like her or not, the fact that she is self-made starting as a poor black girl from Mississippi is impressive.
20. Be passionate about something.
21. When in doubt, go outside.  If that doesn’t work, take a bath.
22. Do whatever you have to do to see the ocean, as often as possible.

Inside Barb’s Fridge

Let’s get a few things straight before I tell you about what’s IN my fridge.

1. Emmett and I drink. We make no apologies for this. We thoroughly enjoy booze in all shapes and sizes anytime of the day or night. That’s not to say we drink day and night. But we do drink whenever we want to. Which is quite often.
2. I love to cook and bake. And, because we’re nearly vegan (I’m finding it challenging to give up butter in my baked goods or on my popcorn so it’s still in my fridge), it’s just easier to make my own food. 
3. I’m a recycler. I see the multiple and multi-use potential in just about any packaging, from the jars my kalamata olives come in (great for mixing and storing homemade vinaigrettes, sauces, and pesto) to my soy yogurt containers (great for dinner leftovers and half tomatoes, avocados, and limes/lemons).
4. My fridge is always the messiest on Wednesdays. It’s the day before the Farmer’s Market and Emmett and I are still working our way through lots of leftovers. Not big amounts of them but little bites from a lot of dishes that used to be full meals—most of which were made from the fresh ingredients picked up from the Farmer’s Market the week before (and augmented by a trip to Whole Foods and TJs).

With all that being said, here are a few highlights from my fridge:

My homemade sauces and vinaigrettes – We’ve never found something green or from the earth that we didn’t like. In other words, bring on the salads and stir fries. Quick, simple, and easy, these two types of meals are stand bys for us in summer so I have lots of sauces on hand (Asian, Indian, Mexican, and Italian) for a marinade, dressing, or topping.

Tofu – I crave tofu. And I mean CRAVE it. It’s such a great ingredient because it absorbs flavor notes so well. Tofu is bland on its own but when it’s tossed into something flavorful, it adds texture and nutrients that makes the body and palette very, very happy. And when you blend/cream tofu and make veggies dips or spreads from it, it’s just fantastic.

Tapas-like Dishes – Emmett and I also like to graze for dinner so there are lots of tapas-style dishes like hummus, dolmades, stuffed olives, edamame, veggie dumplings, veggies and dip, etc.

Veggies and Fruit from the Farmer’s Market – What more can I say about this? Oh, fresh herbs. Mmmmm.

The “Beverage Section” – The two shelves on the right-hand side of the fridge holds all our current summer delights: a few bottles of white wine and champagne, fresh-squeezed lemonade (made with lemons from our tree), brewed tea, beer, and a batch of some sort of specialty drink (this week it’s the Herbaltini)—in addition to our regular beverages of soy milk, some sort of juice, and water. My freezer has booze in it too: gin (for the Herbaltinis), Absolut Citron (my current favorite sunset drink), and regular vodka (to compliment the fresh-squeezed lemonade).

Freezer Delights – Trader Joe’s has a fantastic new frozen product: mini-croissants (totally not vegan but worth the guilt). You take a couple out of the freezer the night before, put them on your baking sheet, and by the next morning they have risen are ready to bake. Pop them in the oven for 10 minutes, put on your beret, brush up on your French accent, and enjoy!

And finally, both Emmett and I have fallen madly in love with one of the best food presents ever given to us: White Honey with Passion Fruit from Hawaii. Lori brought it back from her recent trip to Kauai and I have to say, it is The Bomb!

Inside Lori’s Fridge

Barb and I are alot alike, in alot of ways.  Our fridges, however, couldn’t be more different.  Of course there are the similarities…I also have beer and wine, freezer delights (as she puts it), and things to graze on.  The similarities, however, stop there.  Where Barb is “nearly vegan”, I’m a card carrying carnivore. 

In place of fruits and vegetables is Diet Coke and meatballs.  Her sauces, marinades and dressings are homemade - mine are store bought, and can’t understand why someone would go to the trouble of making that stuff when you can pay someone else to make it.  There are baby bottles prepared for tomorrow morning, half empty jars of baby food, various cheeses for the occasional happy hour (at home), and plenty of beverages.  Yeah, there are some grapes and carrots, but the other produce I bought last week has gone bad and is now in the bottom of my trash can.

I’m not proud of what I keep in my fridge, and I know it has alot to do with why I’m overweight.  I don’t make it a priority to stock healthy choices…convenience is king.  My freezer is jam packed with pizzas, chicken pot pies, and Lean Cuisines for my lunch at work.  I try to be “better”, vowing to eat more fruits and vegetables and less saturated fat.  It just doesn’t happen, and when I do go to the effort to buy fresh things, they stale out because I rarely eat at home.

It’s an eye opening experience seeing how different our refrigerators (and physiques) are…in fact, maybe it’s enough to put me on the right track to eating better and taking the time to have fresh choices on hand…or maybe not. 

Barb’s Fridge

My fridge has always been a hodge-podge of pictures, postcards, magnets, and the all-important Target and grocery lists. I’m not sure why I feel the need to plaster every square inch of it with something personal but I do. When I first move to a place, I start out with a clean slate. Always. And then slowly, day by day, picture by picture, magnet by magnet it gets covered up. Every once-in-a-while I try to organize what’s on there, not necessarily to clean it up but to nudge things closer together to make room for more. It wouldn’t surprise me if someday I had more than one layer of stuff on my fridge…a sort of cold storage collage. (That cracks me up thinking about it like that.) How something makes it to the fridge is beyond me. I can sort of spot trends…favorite pictures, special notes, something pretty…but that could be said about a lot of things not on my fridge. I’d say 99% of the things on my fridge, I put there. The other 1%, Emmett did. Here’s a highlight of a few of my favorites:

• I remember putting the very first thing on this fridge: a postcard of the Ventura harbor, where we had just moved from. I taped the postcard to top, left hand corner of the fridge. This is significant because most of the things on my fridge are not taped to it. But this postcard seemed to be an anchor for me. We were leaving a beautiful town, one I loved living in very much, and settling down in the big city of L.A. Times were changing and we were excited to be along for the ride.
• A picture of me and my two cats, Nina and Sula. I love this picture because when my mom sent it to me, it took my breath away. I think it’s the only picture I have of me with my two cats. They had recently died when I got the picture and it sort of validated their existence with me in their life.
• Magnets from places Emmett and I traveled to early on. We’re not into getting trash and trinkets from vacation spots, nor do we like to accumulate stuff, so for a while there, we were bringing home magnets, thinking that they didn’t take up a lot of space at home (and were easy to carry back). So we’ve got one from St. Louis (the arch, of course), a puffin from Iceland (a layover on our way to London), Mind the Gap (from London), the LBJ Library in Austin (loved it…super cool), Multnomah Falls in Oregon, and Teddy Roosevelt National Park in North Dakota (a section of the Badlands few people go to but really should). Then we sort of stopped buying them because we knew we were going to travel a lot throughout the rest of our lives and we didn’t need to look back. But I still keep these travel magnets on my fridge because they remind me of how I got to love travel so much today.
• Besides my mom, Lori is the only person who has ever given me magnets and she sends good ones. Most of them are knee-slapping funny and totally “her.” I like having them on my fridge because they remind me that there is someone else out there who has my same sense of humor. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad…but it’s the way it is.
• I’m not sure why I have my brother’s high school graduation picture on my fridge but I do. It’s graced the face of every fridge I’ve ever owned. It’s been with me so long now that it’s become an iconic image. Crazy. And a little weird, now that I think about it.
• I send postcards and letters to Emmett at work all the time. But when I’m traveling, I send them to our house. Some of these he’s put up on the fridge. Again, I’m not sure why some have made the fridge and some haven’t, but since Emmett’s not the type of guy to immortalize such things, when I see them there, I know they are special to him. And that makes me smile.
• Of course what kind of Aunt and Uncle would we be if we didn’t have pictures of my niece and nephew? The pictures we have are old now, or rather the kids are not that young anymore, but I still love them: one of Madison with my mom skating, another of my brother and Brady with the exact same shit-eating grin on their faces, one of Madison hugging Brady, and one of my bro, his wife, and Maddie wearing big winter hats and even bigger smiles.

So that’s what I’ve put on my fridge canvas. It’s all personal. Nothing practical. No organization. Not a lot of thought or effort put into it. It sort of evolves and then just becomes what it is. Much like life.

Lori’s Fridge

The timing of this exercise is interesting to me because last week I just cleaned off my fridge.  It was just getting too cluttered and I needed to start over - on a clean canvas.  After the purging process, I am left with some magnets and a few must-haves for those with children.  I’m sure after a few weeks or months it will become cluttered again, but I’m enjoying the empty space right now.  Like my life of late, I am trying to clear out the unnecessary things in order to make room for the new.  In order for something new to enter my world, making space is a must, and my refrigerator reflects just that.  What remains, however, is what’s important.

Magnets: Although they don’t serve much purpose right now as far as holding things to my fridge, they serve the purpose of making me think, making me smile and allowing me to dream.  All of these magnets remind me of something or someone.  Here are just a few highlights…some of them I bought for myself, and many times I’ll buy multiple of my favorites to send to my girlfriends.

The patriarchy magnet: “Mommy, when I grow up I want to help smash the white, racist, homophobic, patriarchal, bullshit paradigm, too!”  This one reminds me of who I was when I was in college.  If I was born in the 60s, my bra would be the first in the bonfire.  Thank God I still have my bra, cuz Lord knows I need it.

The Midwestern magnet: “That Marge!  Six kids, PTA, Brownies, carpool.  How DOES she do it?”  One of my closest girlfriends is Maggie, and we call her Marge.  This one cracks me up b/c it shows the mom guzzling some booze to keep her sanity.  This makes me not want to stay home with my children.

The Brazilian butts: These I found in a little convenience mart in Brazil…they were just too good to pass up.  In Brazil it’s definitely a benefit when “baby got back”, and these magnets prove it!

Proudly Serving: This one pretty much speaks for itself.  I am proudly serving my corporate masters…on the surface.

Fat Ass: “Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?”  I couldn’t have said it better.  There’s nothing that makes me crazier than when a woman asks me if a certain pair of pants makes their butt look big.  It ain’t the pants, honey.

Then there are a couple practical things that survived the elimination session:  my handy dandy magnet with the number for poison control and the quick guide to infant and child cpr.

Then there are more magnets…not just the sarcastic ones, but the inspirational ones.  The ones that remind me to keep my spirit alive and to pursue my dreams, no matter how unrealistic they sometimes seem.

 And last but not least, I have two magnets from Barb.  One I got recently when she went to Santa Fe, and the other I got a long time ago, when we first connected.

St. Liberata - saving me from unwanted suitors and burdensome husbands.

Friendship - “A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”  That’s what Barb is to me, a friend that knows my song, and makes sure I don’t forget the words.