There’s something interesting that has happened since Lori became a mom that I never, EVER would have predicted. In fact, it’s something I have not noticed to happen with my other FWKs. And it’s this: Lori is spending more time with her husband. Not just in a we-share-a-common-living-space kind of way either. I mean, she appears to be actively MAKING time for him. Gasp!

I could be totally off base on this as I don’t see Lori as much as I used to (back in the day of her maternity leave, we saw each other every week), but I hear her mention more and more, things she’s doing with Sal, whether that be dinner parties or day trips to Solvang. To provide some perspective, there was a two-year period where they each lived on separate coasts. It’s sort of hard to get together and be a couple when he is in Boston going to school and she is in L.A. bringing home the bacon. But still, ever since I met Lori, I’ve always known her to make plans for herself, without regard to what Sal was doing. Now, it feels like she’s taking him into consideration. I wouldn’t say she’s rearranging her schedule for him, but she’s definitely in a different mindset when she’s making space and time for other people. Lori used to tease me about my relationship with my husband and how close we are, but now I think she may have a better understanding of it…and that probably has to do with having Matteo and seeing Sal, as his father, in a different light.

Along the same lines is this recent observation (which doesn’t surprise me as I’ve seen this with other FWKs): I definitely see a shift in the TYPE of people she and her husband are doing things with. First off, let me say that Sal doesn’t like me. I don’t take offense to this since Sal doesn’t like ANY of Lori’s friends. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say anything nice about any of her friends. I’m not sure if that says more about the type of people Lori is friends with (me included) or Sal’s personal issues, but whatever it is, he’s never been supportive of her relationships with other people that don’t involve a connection to him. I mention this only because Lori and Sal have been throwing a lot of dinner parties lately and their guests usually are either Sal’s colleagues from work or couples from Matteo’s daycare (in other words, other people with kids). Emmett and I have not been invited to their house for a dinner party. This doesn’t surprise me because 1) of said Sal issue, 2) this new making of time for Sal which of course means making more time for his friends, and 3) perhaps most importantly, this is exactly the shift that marks the slow but steady decline of relationships between FWKs and CFFs. FWKs start doing things with other FWKs because there is a symbiotic relationship. They understand each other. They speak the same language. They share the same experiences. Of course they are going to naturally migrate toward each other and squeeze out the non-understanders. It’s happened on my end too. I’ve mentioned before that Lori used to be my go-to girl for extra curricular activities like shows and plays, but now she’s moved down the list because she’s less available, and probably less interested. She’d rather hang with Matteo and her husband now.

I’m not saying this is the end for Lori and me, that we’ve totally stopped doing things together. That’s not true at all. But there has been a change, and have been changes over the past few months, as Lori noted a few posts ago. But I don’t think it’s just me pulling away. Right now, I think it’s both of us riding different currents down the same river.