I’ve been going back and re-reading earlier Dually Noted posts and one of the common themes in both my and Lori’s writing is time—finding it, using it, not wasting it, savoring it, carving it out, claiming it as our own, how much of it to keep private and how much of it to share. It’s been an interesting journey, these past four months of Dually Noted. I’ve surprised myself in many ways and I’ve been surprised by what Dually Noted has given Lori and me…more time together.

While Lori and I hung out prior to Dually Noted and Matteo, it was not nearly as often or as consistently. Dually Noted gave us (or probably more accurately, ME) permission to work more purposefully on integrating our two lives, one childfree and one with kids, into the space reserved for friendships. I don’t demand a lot of time from my friends. It is not quantity that is required. But it is quality.

Still, I can’t help but acknowledge that, because Matteo is a “good baby,” I’ve had large quantities of quality time with Lori since he was born. It started out with her maternity leave which (forgive the pun) gave birth to Tuesdays with M-Lori. Since Lori went back to work, we’ve started a new version of Tuesdays with M-Lori called Micromovement Mondays. Tuesdays with M-Lori was about satisfying our basic and immediate needs of just hanging out, of taking a break from the real world. It was like summer vacation from school. Micromovement Mondays is about satisfying our longer-term goals. It’s more like working on a college J-term project together except instead of focusing on one subject for one month, we’re each working on three projects over several months. We still get to play sometimes, but only because it is part of the creative process that will help us with our projects. Well, and because that is what Lori and I do best…we play well together.

So in a way, Matteo has brought Lori and me closer together by giving me the one thing I want most from my friends: good times. And Matteo has forced Lori to be more conscious about making sure she sets aside time for herself and her personal growth. For a little guy with very few hours clocked in this lifetime thus far, he sure has been busy. I think I’ll start calling him Mr. Time with a Bottle.