This post is coming a little later in the day than I would like but a good chunk of my time earlier was spent with Lori and Matteo. Since Matteo was just a month old, the three of us have been getting together once a week. I like to call these gatherings “Tuesdays with M-Lori.” Technically, they happen on whatever day in the week we can get together, so Tuesday isn’t a requirement. When I suggested to Lori that during her maternity leave we get together on a regular basis, I was just trying to be funny (as I often try to be when I’m around Lori because that’s our thing) by playing off the book with a similar title. The M stands for Matteo, in case you haven’t figured that out. He hasn’t been around long enough yet to have earned the rest of his letters.

Tuesdays with M-Lori (pronounced ma-lor’-ee) have been fun for me for so many reasons, but mainly because I’m doing cool stuff with a cool lady who has cool attitude. We’re similar in many ways, Lori and I are. And we’re different in so many others. That’s what makes it interesting. We both love the outdoors but I prefer hiking a mountain peak and she’d rather be walking the beach. We both love food yet I’m vegetarian with a slight vegan tendency and she fully embraces the carnivore in her. We both enjoy wine. She likes her red and I, well, I like any kind of wine. And the list goes on and on. So it’s easy for us to plan Tuesdays with M-Lori because we can pretty much do anything together to entertain ourselves. And at this stage in the game, Matteo is basically unobtrusive. Basically.

There are things one can expect to happen when one is out with one’s girlfriend and her baby or toddler or child. There are the distractions of caring for them, entertaining them, checking up on them. There is the diaper changing, explanation providing (kids really do ask a lot of questions), and stroller maneuvering. It becomes necessary to curb the cussing and dirty talk. You can only eat at family friendly restaurants. You can only go where there’s an easy escape should a melt down occur.

I can deal with all that, for short amounts of time and for the right person. But here’s something I can’t get used to: everything happens so slowly when a kid is involved. And I mean S-L-O-W-L-Y. It takes forever to get in or out of the car. It takes another forever to walk to where you need to be. It’s more than forever if suddenly the weather changes and the kid needs to put on or take off a sweater. One would think it shouldn’t take forever to feed and burb a kid, but apparently it does. It’s like I’m walking around in a movie that the director has decided to shoot entirely in slow motion. By the time I leave, I want to jump on the freeway and go 80 MPH down the road, but I live in LA and everyone knows that’s impossible.

So I’ve had to take a lot of deep breaths and long stretches before, during, and after my Tuesdays with M-Lori. I’m sure Lori has had to do the same. More than once she’s mentioned how much extra time she needs to allow for the Matteo factor. Believe it or not, I can relate on some level. When I lived in Minnesota, getting ready for work in the winter always took more time than in the summer because of all the extra layers of clothes, having to warm up the car, and driving on all that ice and snow. Poor Lori. I wonder if she realizes how long and cold a winter can be? At least I was able to move to California.

But in the end, it’s all good. Working on my patience is something I’ve been meaning to do for a while now anyway. And spending time, even slow time, with a truly wonderful friend makes me happy. Besides, I would never pass up an opportunity to make fun of Lori’s size Gs.